Earring

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is
    wearing an earring.

    This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative
    fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion
    sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you
    were into earrings."

    "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies
    sheepishly.

    "So, really? How long have you been wearing one?"

    "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

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    Drive safe!

    A San Diego policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that
    because he had been wearing his seatbelt, he had just won $5,000
    dollars in the state-wide safety competition. "What are you going
    to do with the money?" asked the policeman.

    "Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," he answered.

    "Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat.
    "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

    This woke up the guy in the back-seat, who took one look at the
    cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

    At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice
    said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"

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